A few weeks ago while surfing the web for sites about sex -- 'cause it's what I do... -- I ran across what has to be the strangest sex site I've ever seen. It's called The Pure Bed, a "married couples intimacy store." Let me translate that: this is a website that sells sex toys for Christians!
This site has to be seen to be believed. Between condemnation of pornography ("") and links to Focus on the Family's website, The Pure Bed sells everything necessary to make your relatively vanilla fantasies come true -- scented candles, sensual massage oil, pink and lacy lingerie, sex games and, of course, "marital aids" (known to most non-Christians as "vibrators").
The site also contains a lot of information for Christians:
"Sexual practices among married couples, especially those of the Christian and some other faiths, are often complicated by a lack of context and guidelines for acceptable sexual practices. (...) Equally as unfortunate, many places of worship and many homes fail to adequately provide direction -- leaving a needless sense of taboo concerning what constitutes healthy sexual practice. Because our worship centers tend to teach the negatives of sex (adultery, fornication) without a balanced view for the gift of it in marriage, sex is treated as the forbidden fruit both in and out of the church."
I'm of two minds about this site. I think it's great to know that someone is out there encouraging Christians to have hot sex. That's got to be cause for celebration, right? God knows (pardon the pun) there are too many uptight Bible thumping prudes running around this country.
BUT... while the site doesn't explicitly condemn anything but porn, it doesn't even deign to mention extra-marital sex. In that one move, a stroke of cowardly brilliance, it ducks a whole world of questions. Since we're only discussing monogamous married couples the site doesn't have to say anything about contraception, STIs or gay sex of any kind. That leaves only porn to verbally smite (the creators of the site should look a little more closely at some of the pictures in their lingerie section!). The Pure Bed also sticks its head in the sand and refuses to mention certain sex acts that married couples could enjoy. There are no butt plugs, floggers or restraints anywhere to be found. There are no books containing information about sex.
This site deserves a mixed verdict, I'm afraid. It's nice to see, but a lot of the ludicrous Christian sexual taboos are still on display at The Pure Bed which is too bad -- more than any other cause, those taboos are what drive people away from Christian spirituality.
This site deserves a mixed verdict, I'm afraid. It's nice to see, but a lot of the ludicrous Christian sexual taboos are still on display at The Pure Bed which is too bad -- more than any other cause, those taboos are what drive people away from Christian spirituality.
ReplyDeleteBut the site is for Christians. It's not for you. Does every sex site have to be all-inclusive in order to be valuable? It makes sense that a Christian sex site isn't going to promote extra-marital sex or give information about STIs, because for the people who would GO to this site, there's no need for that! Why give a site a "mixed" review because you disagree with their fundamental values? If I went to a bondage site, I wouldn't give it a bad review because "Well, yeah, they had lots of information about bondage, but nothing about furries." I wouldn't go to a Tantra website expecting to read about BDSM. You know?
To me, the value of a sex site should be "Does it adequately cater to its intended audience?" I think this one does. There are plenty of places to go for people who are interested in non-vanilla sex. There are also plenty of sites where people who are having sex outside of marriage to go for STI information, etc. There AREN'T a lot of sites encouraging Christians to have hot sex, and for that reason alone I think this site deserves more than a mixed review. It also doesn't deserve the derisive tone - link to Focus on the Family notwithstanding.
OK, reading their 5 Principles for Ethical Christian sex, I have ONE thing that you can actually find fault with. Principle 3: It does not cause pain physically, emotionally, or spiritually nor demean
ReplyDeleteeither spouse. There are no painful or demeaning aspects of the agreed upon sexual
play. The full counsel of scripture teaches that such behavior or activities directly
contradict the goals of relationship, marriage and intercourse.
The other principles at least have scriptural backing. So, if you believe that the book is law, it makes sense that you'd shun certain things. But this whole "The desire to inflict or receive pain comes from a place of brokenness or impairment.
Such desires are an indication that we are in need of prayer and healing. Often, a trained Christian therapist can help us discover the root of such longings. With prayer,a willingness to seek assistance and a heart for God, we overcome the desire to incorporate abhorrent masochistic tendencies into our lives and discover the
compassion, passion, and wholeness necessary for superior sexual interaction and
intimate connection with our spouse." business come from nowhere substantial, and is really just opinion. Grrr...