Saturday, December 12, 2009

Maybe I *DO* Give a Shit



Leave it to Susie Bright to find something in this whole Tiger Woods thing that is actually entertaining: Tiger's fantasy of being forced to watch one of his mistresses have a threesome with Derek Jeter and David Boreanaz. Susie Bright has used this revelation as a jumping off point for a very interesting post about cuckold fantasies on her blog.

Susie Bright covers to topic pretty well but she doesn't ask what I think is the most interesting question: What made Tiger choose these two guys? I mean, if he said Brad Pitt and George Clooney that would make sense to me. Those are two people a straight guy's mind immediately jumps to when he thinks of attractive male celebrities because he's always hearing women talk about how hot they supposedly are. A man spinning out a generic cuckold fantasy of watching his partner cheat on him would be likely to pick them. But Derek Jeter and David Boreanaz? Those are two very specific choices. Tiger has put a lot of thought into that. I'm not saying this to make fun of him -- this is the first interesting thing I've heard about his entire sex life. His cuckold fantasy isn't just about watching his mistress "betray" him with whatever stud is available, it has something to do with these two particular guys too, or else why go to the trouble of being so specific?

So what could it be? I mean, neither of them are unattractive but they aren't exactly smoking hot either. It could be significant that Jeter is one of the few sports stars who approaches being as talented as Tiger himself. But Boreanaz? What's the connection? He's just a B-list TV star who plays a goofy, affable FBI agent on a foresnics procedural and a vampire (with a soul) on a cult WB fantasy show. Why did Tiger pick these two and not, say, Lance Armstrong and Nathan Fillion? Clearly there is more going on in Tiger's fantasy life than the blasé desire to cheat on his wife with nominally hot babes, which means that for the very first time I'm kind of interested in this "scandal."

Thanks, Susie Bright, you pulled me in. I finally feel included in America's new obsession.

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