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Scary Stuff

Surprised Employer Fires Sex Blogger

A St. Louis-area nonprofit has fired a 37-year-old office worker – after discovering that in her own time, the woman blogs about her polyamorous escapades. (...)

According to TBK, her boss – at the suggestion of top management – searched the web for information about employees, and discovered the sex blog. When she arrived at work April 27, she was fired on the spot.

Per an account TBK posted on another website, Aagablog, her boss was furious. “I need to let you go," the woman said, according to TBK. "Corporate office suggested I Google employees. I typed in your name and it took me two seconds to find your website. How COULD you put that stuff out there? What were you thinking?! I feel like I’m talking to a 14 year old! We’re DONE.”

I came across this article while surfing the web last night. It is scary stuff. While I don't provide intimate details about my own sex life on my blog like TBK did, I don't imagine that would necessarily be enough to save me if my employer found out about it. TBK's mistake was signing up for a Twitter account using her real name. She didn't realize it was going to be displayed, and by the time she changed it it had already been archived by a search engine. I quickly ran and Googled my real name (something I haven't done in a while) to make sure I hadn't sprung any leaks. So far so good.

I've often wrestled with the idea of giving up my pseudonym. I also write more conventional things online and offline under my real name and it would be very convenient to shed the alias. I've always admired people like Rachel Kramer Bussell or Susie Bright that have made the decision to live their lives out in the open. If my conventional writing ever takes off, I might be in a position to "come out" and acknowledge this blog as well. In fact, I might have to, since some of my conventional writing still deals with polyamory, kink and other kinds of alternative sexuality. (Some doesn't, but some does.) However, as long as I have a day job -- in fact, as long as I foresee the possibility of needing to interview for a day job -- I've got to try to keep the genie in the bottle. It goes against everything I believe about being open and proud of who you are, but I guess that's the price of a little privacy.

The Making of "Fun Home"

A friend of mine had to do a project for her graduate program featuring a novel or movie about grief and loss. I suggested to her that us use Fun Home, by Alison Bechdel, which is a graphic novel memoir by a lesbian woman about her father, who was gay and in the closet and who dies under conditions that may or may not be suicide. It's an excellent book and I really love it. I've been meaning to review it in this space for a long time but I've never gotten around to it. Now that her project is finished, my friend sent me this YouTube video she found, in which Bechdel discusses how she made the art in Fun Home. I thought it was really fascinating so I'm sharing it here. I'll write a review soon, hopefully.

Never Have I Ever...

About a month ago I played a game of Never Have I Ever as part of the TMI Party I threw for a group of friends. I'm kind of bad at thinking of things on the spot so I made a list. Here's part of it.

Never have I ever received money in exchange for sex.

Never have I ever had intercourse in public.

Never have I ever broken a piece of furniture while having sex on it.

Never have I ever cheated on someone.

Never have I ever had sex with a co-worker.

Never have I ever been in an orgy.

Never have I ever had sex while dressed as an animal.

Never have I ever had sex with someone I regretted having sex with later.