Five Fun Links #3

1) Rachel Kramer Bussel interviews Susie Bright about her new memoir.

2) This blog's name says it all: Bangable Dudes in History.

3) If you like Oglaf, you'll love Ménage à Trois and BDSM Bad Advice. (Thanks to SoftAndThorny for the recommendation!)

4) SlutWalk Toronto!

5) Geek and feminist blogger Teresa Jusino (a friend of mine) has a new Tumblr just for her feminist opinions!

Five Fun Links #2

1. A Lutheran minister tries to codify the ethics of Dan Savage and puts his finger on a few places where the sex columnists ethics fall a little short.

2. Worst threesome EVER in season 2, episode 3 of Awkward Embraces.

3. It's hard to give kids good sex ed without getting shot down as porn...

4. A dirty Wii game (sort of).

5. My new favorite NSFW blog, at its new digs on Tumblr.

BONUS LINK! This fan fic crossover between Oglaf and the Old Spice Guy was suggested by ladyofthelog on last Sunday's links post. (On a personal note: I DON'T UNDERSTAND FAN FIC!!!)

Five Fun Links

1. Violet Blue gave a talk at SXSW called "Sexual Survival for Geeks." Listen to the podcast of the talk here, read Violet's account on her blog, and read MSNBC's coverage (!) here.

2. Oglaf: A hilarious, dirty, online comic. NSFW!

3. A mom writes about raising an effeminate son.

4. Everybody's doin' it in da butt!

5. An ode to the hickory switch.

Sacrilegious Fun

A friend of mine just started a Twitter feed called Xtianity_inbed. It operates on the same principal as the fortune cookie game in which you add the words "in bed" to the end of your fortune with frequently hilarious results. My friend, however, is playing the game with Bible verses. Here's a taste.

Lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them... in bed. Luke 2:9

Don't miss a minute of the sacrilege: Go follow her!

Green Porno Is Back!!!!!

It's too good to be true. Isabella Rossellini has made a follow-up to Green Porno called Seduce Me. She covered the bees in Green Porno, so Seduce Me touches on the birds and other non-mammals -- with Isabella in all of the bizarre animal costumes you could ever want. Also, a lot of beefy arms. You can watch the "first season" by following the link. It features three minute segments about cuttlefish, ducks, snakes, salmon and bedbugs and it's as wonderful and weird as ever!

The Joke Is In Your Brain

So True

The Onion reports: Nation's Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports.

This article is both funny and heartening to see.

Many have praised the study as an urgently needed wake-up call, saying they hope it will encourage more direct government involvement in the public's eroticized pain needs.

"With any luck, this study is just the beginning," Topeka, KS submissive Glenn Lange said. "Unless we want to live in a nation where you'll only find nipple vices or welting rods in a museum, the government needs to step up."

However, citizens like Nathan Cardozzi of Boston disagreed, claiming that increased government regulation would only stymie what has always been a private act of exquisite torture between two or more consenting adults.

"Mmmph mmmph mrrrr mmmmph," Cardozzi said through the ball gag he was forced to wear to plug his filthy voice hole. "Mmmmrh mrrrhhhhh mmmph mummm."

"Mmmrphmphmmhmmmrh," he added, slowly shaking his head.

via My Licit Affairs

How Sweet It Is...

Recently it's been kind of "all polyamory, all the time" on this blog. I'm sorry for that. Maybe it's because Poly Pride is coming up, but it just seems like there has been a lot of poly stuff to comment on.

Well, here's a news story from Talking Points Memo that has absolutely nothing to do with polyamory!

NEWT GINGRICH ACCIDENTALLY NAMES PORN EXEC 'ENTREPRENEUR OF THE YEAR

Newt Gingrich's 527 group sent a letter to porn exec Allison Vivas Wednesday telling her she'd won their "Entrepreneur of the Year" award and inviting her to an "intimate event" with Gingrich.

"I'm honored, and more than a little surprised, to receive this prestigious award," Vivas said today in a cheeky press release. "Rest assured, I'll take the opportunity to inform Mr. Gingrich of some of the major challenges facing the adult entertainment industry in the current market .., from obscenity prosecutions to content piracy, I'll make sure he walks away from that dinner educated about the realities of the online porn market."

Every once in the while, the universe proves that it really does love us.

Via Susie Bright's Journal

Aunt May in Love

In Amazing Spider-Man #592, a couple months ago, Peter Parker (that's Spider-Man to you less geeky Geeky Sex readers out there) went to visit his Aunt May at her house after a particularly long absence and received a bit of a surprise -- he found his septuagenarian aunt in bed with the father of his newspaper editor boss/nemesis, J. Jonah Jameson! (The image above is the property of Marvel Comics and used totally without permission but hopefully in a way they would approve of if I had asked them.)

Like most comic books Amazing Spider-Man has a letter column and like most comic book fans its readers had strong opinions about what happens in its pages. Those opinions hit in last week's Amazing Spider-Man #603.

Ric Davies of Sterling Heights, Michigan, writes:

That last page of issue #592 made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. What were you guys thinking? Seems like Aunt May has gone into the wayback machine and is in her 50s-60s again. For cryin' out loud, she's like 1,000 years old!

I definitely don't like imagining May Parker having relations... and if you guys want my eyes to continue to be able to read your fine comic, I would suggest no more of this. What happens in Aunt May's bedroom should stay in Aunt May's bedroom.

'Nuff seen and 'nuff said!

Steve Delaney of Knoxville, Tennessee, put it even more concisely:

About ASM #592, specifically the last page, only one word comes to mind: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Now, without a doubt, the writers of the comic book were playing the scene for laughs, not to confront any sex-negative attitudes in their audience. It was indeed a funny moment. But what really tickled me pink was the fact that the writers (who recently reinvigorated this ailing series) had decided to give Aunt May, a sexless old lady for most of Spider-Man history, a sex life that is as explicit as these things get in superhero comic books. And I was tickled even pinker when I saw Peter Parker's reaction in the next issue. After a few moments of embarrassment, our hero tells his aunt, "Pretty lady, whatever makes you happy makes me happy. This guy's a catch. Hang onto him. As you were, you two."

So I was surprised by this violent reaction from the fans. (To be fair, a third letter commended Peter's levelheaded reaction.) I mean, I know that our culture has trouble talking about sex and doesn't consider a person attractive unless they're in their twenties, which is going to be an obstacle to any attempt to portray an elderly couple having sex. Nonetheless, the reaction seemed a little over the top. Do we really begrudge older people -- even fictional older people like Aunt May -- the occasionally fun and healthy roll in the hay? I just wanted to shake these fans and say, "Old people have sex too! Get over it!"

So instead I did something I've only done once before in twenty years of off-and-on comic book readership -- I wrote a letter to the editor. And since it will probably never see print I'd just like to say thanks to the writers of Amazing Spider-Man for making their (evidently ill-prepared) readers face something that is a normal part of everyday life. As you were, you guys.

One Night Stand, by Garfunkel and Oakes

I saw this video by Garfunkel and Oakes on Slog this weekend.

Sex in the Media

Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable

Susie Bright reposted this Onion video on her blog about a month ago. I missed it. Fortunately that's why I have friends who send me stuff! Not safe for work for five seconds at the beginning, then fine with headphones.

Top 5 Star Trek Sex Episodes

As Star Trek makes its triumphant return to theaters all over the world after four years of oblivion, I'm rounding off my Star Trek related posts with a look back at some of the show's sexiest episodes.

5. "Amok Time"

In the imagination of some Trekkies, it's not too far from this:

to this:


But even without homoerotic overtones "Amok Time" is pretty sexy! Once every seven years Vulcans are have to return to their home planet to get it on! So great is the desire that Vulcans will die if they don't score. In this episode Spock goes so mad with passion that he doesn't balk at a fight to the death with his best friend Kirk when his beloved's machinations cast Kirk in the role of Spock's rival.

4. "The Perfect Mate"



This episode proves it is possible to be startlingly hot without showing much skin! Famke Janssen (who later played Bond girl Xenia Onatopp and Jean Grey in X-Men) plays an alien woman who has been born and raised to be the perfect male fantasy. Aboard the Enterprise as a gift meant to end a war, her pheromones arouse everyone around her and her telepathy allows her to become exactly what they want -- the perfect flirt. But things go wrong when she forsakes the man she's supposed to marry and falls in love with Captain Picard!

3. "The Cage"



The official story is that this first attempt at a Star Trek pilot was rejected by the network because it was "too cerebral" for your average TV viewer. Somehow I doubt that was the real reason.

In this episode aliens kidnap the captain of the Enterprise (played by Jeffrey Hunter in those pre-Shatner days) and use their power of illusion to try to get him to mate and breed a race of slaves. The aliens run the gambit of our hero's sexual fantasies to do it, culminating with one of the most famous scenes in Star Trek -- a strip tease by a green Orion slave girl who "actually likes being taken advantage of." Too cerebral, my ass! There's no way this would ever be shown on 1960s television!

2. "Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places"



Groups for young BDSM enthusiasts are often called "The Next Generation" or "TNG." Is the link to Star Trek a coincidence? Definitely not.

Klingons like pain. They jab each other with cattle prods for fun. So when Worf tries to teach the Ferengi bartender Quark how to put the moves on a Klingon woman some kinky sex is definitely on the menu. But while Worf is playing wingman, his bombshell friend Jadzia Dax decides to seduce him! The episode ends with both couples happily in the hospital... and "the next generation" of kinky teens was born!

1. "The Outcast"



In its later years Star Trek rightly got a lot of criticism for never having a gay character. But in 1992 it took what, at the time, was a pretty courageous stand for gay rights.

The Enterprise visits a planet of asexual aliens, a small minority of whom identify as male or female. One of the female-identified aliens falls in love with Commander Riker but when their relationship is discovered her people threaten to subject her to ex-gay brainwashing. The episode also contains one of the only pop culture examples of a polyamory negotiation I can think of, as Will Riker tells his sometimes-lover Deanna Troi about his new love.

Using the asexual allegory, Star Trek made the heterosexual love its viewers regarded as normal into the forbidden love. Even a homophobic viewer had to support the alien Soren in this impassioned scene, and examine their assumptions about homosexuality in the process:

KIRK + SPOCK 4EVER!

As long as I'm sharing funny Star Trek sex videos this one caught my eye at the Revolving Door Commune Blog. It's pretty funny but its basis -- eroticism between Captain Kirk and his loyal sidekick Mr. Spock -- is hardly original.

As an interesting article in this week's Newsweek points out, Kirk and Spock are one of the oldest and most popular subjects of slash fanfic. It isn't difficult to see why. Kirk is such a philandering ladies' man that at times one suspects overcompensation. Meanwhile Spock, as a half-human trying to live a Vulcan's emotionless lifestyle, is filled with shame over his repressed feelings -- "Jim, when I feel friendship for you I feel ashamed," he tells Kirk in "The Naked Time." These totally repressed feelings come bursting out once ever seven years during the Vulcan mating cycle when Spock is driven -- compelled -- to mate. Violently and with abandon, we can easily imagine from episodes like "Amok Time," "Blood Fever" and "Bounty."

With all this, a person can't be blamed for imagining Kirk and Spock in a gay relationship -- going where no man has gone before, as it were. (Yeah, I did.) Slash fanfic writers have been pairing the two in fanzines or on the Internet for years. Check out Farfalla's Kirk/Spock Happyplace for more than a hundred examples of their work. If that doesn't satisfy you the Star Trek Slash Ring probably has what you need in English or German. These stories are written mainly by and for hetero women and the stories seem intended more to amuse than to actually be titillating (though I could be wrong, who knows).

Even Gene Roddenberry weighed in on a Kirk-Spock romance. In a footnote to his 1979 novelization of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, the creator of Star Trek wrote:

The human concept of friend is most nearly duplicated in Vulcan thought by the term t'hy'la, which can also mean brother or lover. Spock (...) did indeed consider Kirk to have become his brother. However, because t'hy'la can be used to mean lover, and since Kirk's and Spock's friendship was unusually close, this has led to some speculation over whether they had actually indeed become lovers. At our request, Admiral Kirk supplied the following comment on this subject:

"I was never aware of this lovers rumor, although I have been told that Spock encountered it several times. Apparently he had always dismissed it with his characteristic lifting of his right eyebrow which usually connoted some combination of surprise, disbelief, and/or annoyance. As for myself, although I have no moral or other objections to physical love in any of its many Earthly, alien, and mixed forms, I have always found my best gratification in that creature woman. Also, I would dislike being thought of as so foolish that I would select a love partner who came into sexual heat only once every seven years."

Needless to say, Roddenberry's denial didn't close the issue.

Star Trek Opens Tomorrow

In honor of the new Star Trek movie coming out today, I'm embedding this humorous video. If you've ever sat through Star Trek: The Motion Picture (most of which involves the crew staring in wonder at the magnificent alien creature on the viewscreen while the whole audience stares at their wristwatches) this is going to be particularly satisfying.




Safe for work, as long as you use headphones!

Porn Musical, Anyone?

PG PORN: Squeal Happy Whores

This is absolutely hilarious! It's relatively safe for work -- there's no nudity but you'd want to use headphones.

(re) Introduction: A History of the Blog Formerly Known As "The Sex Geek"

About five months ago I decided that I was so fascinated by sex that I wanted to write a blog about it. But unlike most sex blogs I didn't want to write about my own sex life. Don't get me wrong, it's AWESOME. But some remaining inhibition or need for privacy made me decide it's none of your business. No, this would be a blog for people who shared my interest in sex in general.

I've always seriously geeked out about books, movies, plays, music, websites, podcasts, etc., that talked about sex in a positive, fun and informative way and I wanted my blog to be about that stuff, posted for you as I find it. It was going to be a resource for people like you and me that enthuse about sex the way that other people enthuse about Spider-Man, Star Wars or Dungeons & Dragons.

I came up with two possible names for this blog, very similar ones: "The Sex Geek" and "Geeky Sex". I preferred the second one. I thought the first one sounded a bit creepy -- it can conjure a picture of a greasy, bespectacled individual adept in one-handed web surfing (if you know what I mean) -- whereas the second just sounds like good clean fun. Also, there were a few sex bloggers who called themselves Sex Geek (my favorite is here) and there were no active blogs called Geeky Sex. But, alas, some wretched soul had already created a blog called Geeky Sex, posted once in 2006 and abandoned it, making the address unavailable. So, the decision made for me, I set up shop at http://thesexgeek.blogspot.com.

It's always bugged me a little so when I noticed that (A) that wretched soul had finally erased their abandoned blog, and (B) a bunch of my readers seemed to have wondered away during my inactive period, I decided it was a good time to relaunch the blog! Welcome to Geeky Sex!

As I have time I'm going to repost the old entries back dated so we can all imagine it's been one continuous blog. Until then, please visit The Sex Geek for all my old entries.

A Real Store in My Neighborhood

So True...

via Slog, who got it from Wonkette

(That's Bush's face on the condom. It took me a minute to get it too.)

A Special Holiday Greeting From the Wet Spots

Prop 8: The Musical

Music and lyrics by Marc Shaiman (Hairspray). Starring Allison Janney, Neil Patrick Harris, John C. Reilly, Andy Richter, Maya Rudolph, Margaret Cho, and Jack Black as Jesus!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die